In today’s uncertain and high-risk social environment, teaching your youngster about good and bad touch is unavoidable. Parents are concerned about the rising number of reports of child molestation. Of course, prevention is preferable to cure. Who better to educate your child about this ostensibly “uncomfortable” but crucial issue than you?
Find out when and how to introduce your child to good and harmful touch-
When is the right time to educate your child about good touch and bad touch?
The sooner the better, I suppose. When your child is introduced to the outside world, say around the age of three (when a child is typically placed in a playschool), some basic concepts about good and bad touch should be clear, though they may not comprehend everything. According to experts, a child can be taught about it as early as two years old, when they can begin to distinguish the components of their body. By the age of five, the child should have a full understanding of good and bad touch.
Understanding good touch and bad touch
What is a good touch?
Being hugged and kissed by the people you care about is a wonderful feeling that is necessary for children’s emotional development and a sense of well-being.
This is how you can tell your youngster about it:
- Do you like it when Mommy or Daddy gives you a hug and kiss when you wake up?
- How do you feel when Daddy and Mommy give you a good-night hug and kiss?
- Isn’t it great when Grandma and Grandpa come to visit and everyone receives hugs and kisses?
- Does it make you uncomfortable when your teacher pats you on the back for doing well in class, or when you’re playing with your friends and you’re hugged after winning the game? It’s a nice touch if it doesn’t.
What is a bad touch?
Any form of touch that makes you feel uneasy is usually considered a poor touch. This is how you can tell your youngster about it.
- It’s a horrible touch if it causes you pain.
- It’s a terrible touch if someone touches you on your body where you don’t want to be touched.
- It is definitely a terrible touch if the individual touches you beneath your garment or tickles you under your clothing. If someone touches you in a way that makes you feel uncomfortable, that is a poor touch.
- It’s a negative touch if it makes you feel terrified and nervous, especially when you’re alone (not at the doctor’s office with your mom).
- It is a nasty touch if someone forces you to touch him or her.
- It’s a nasty touch if someone requests you not to tell anyone about the touch.
- It’s a nasty touch if someone threatens to hurt you if you report the touch.
Tips to teach about good touch and bad touch to your child
Let your kids know their body parts well
Assist your child in becoming familiar with the many parts of his or her body, identifying which parts are private and should not be touched by others. Even with your children, avoid using baby jargon like ‘pee-pee’ and ‘poo-poo’ when discussing private regions. By the age of two, most toddlers and young children can identify the parts of their bodies. Explain the anatomy of the body to your school-aged children without making them feel embarrassed. To make the concept clearer, use the swimsuit rule, which states that the parts of the body covered when wearing a swimsuit are private parts that should not be viewed or touched by others.
Tell your kids that they own their body
Allow your children to comprehend the concept of body ownership, which means that no one can touch them if they don’t want them to. They have the right to refuse hugs and kisses if they don’t want to, even if it makes you feel horrible. If your youngster does not want to hug visitors, do not force them to. If you don’t respect their personal space, they won’t comprehend how important it is.
Bond with your child
Spend enough time with your children and chat to them openly if you want them to share their secrets and confusions about their bodies or adverse experiences. Remember, you’re the safest person they can confide in about their worries and inhibitions. Your child would feel at ease addressing such subjects with you if he or she has a sense of trust and acceptance. Tell your children that they should never keep a harmful touch a secret. Make them understand that it is the person who touched them in an inappropriate way who is the evil guy, not them.
Teach them to speak up
Teach children to yell “NO” or “HELP” to attract the attention of those around them. In such situations, it is always better to approach a group of people rather than a single individual. Allow your youngster to be “mean” to strangers and to scream loudly if they are uncomfortable. Do you find this statement surprising? It’s better to be cautious than to be courteous and vulnerable. Do not scold your youngster if he or she is impolite to strangers. Inquire as to why this is being done. It’s possible that your youngster is correct.
Let your kids know their safe circle
The people in your child’s safe circle are those that he or she can trust and confide in. Mommy, Daddy, Grandpa, Granny, Sibling, and others may be included. Teach your children to communicate openly or to seek assistance from those in their secure group. When you are not present, your children will know who to talk to. Stick photos of people who belong to your child’s safe circle on cardboard for toddlers and preschoolers to help them remember what a safe circle is.
Roleplay
Make time to role-play various situations of good and negative touch with your children when you spend time with them, and show them how to react and be cautious in unpleasant situations. Role plays are widely remembered by small children, and they can use the simulation in a real-life situation. Teach your kids how to firmly and loudly say no. Make them practise it by saying things like (NO, I DON’T LIKE THAT! STOP).
Read books on good touch and bad touch
Children have a strong memory for stories and can apply them to real-life events. Begin by reading books about body parts. Then you can read sex education books for kids (for older kids).
Show them videos explaining the good and bad touch
Audiovisual learning is more effective for children. Use instructive videos that are appropriate for your child’s age. Please view the video before showing it to your children and select an acceptable one based on their comprehension level. Act out various events and self-defense techniques with them. Role-playing helps children learn more effectively.
Signs which may indicate sexual abuse in children
Children may be unable to open up and discuss any incidents of sexual abuse they have experienced (if any), as they may not be able to distinguish between proper and wrong touch at such a young age. They may, however, exhibit signals in their behaviour that might assist parents in identifying any potential risks or cases of sexual abuse in youngsters. The presence of numerous of the indicators listed below may indicate sexual abuse, though one or two signs alone may not indicate sexual abuse.
- Fear of specific people, individuals (including close relatives or friends), or locations
- In the situation of your child, withdrawing or secretive behaviour is not normal.
- Playing with toys or objects to enact inappropriate behaviours or behaviour is known as sexual play.
- Nakedness, obscene characters, or scenes are depicted in sexual art.
- Whether it’s bedwetting, nightmares, or sleeping problems, we’ve got you covered.
- Changes in overall behaviour, such as unexplainable anguish, dietary changes, and irritation
- Adult terms for body components are used (common in school-age children through peer interaction or influence)
- Bruises, burns, and cuts on the body, especially around the private regions, are all signs of physical abuse.
- Unexpected presents or cash from a ‘new acquaintance’
- Asking probing questions about sex and being extremely sensitive of their own body (sex education is thus necessary for kids)
- Excessive mobile phone screen time and attempts to hide or lock the phone (sexual abuse can be in any form)
Common phrases parents use which may be harmful to kids
Many parents utter the following phrases with the best of intentions, yet they can be destructive to children’s safety and self-esteem. Avoid using the following phrases:
- “Do as your (Uncle/older cousin/baby sitter) says.” Adults must be listened to.”
- “If you love me/him/her, you must kiss (me/nana/XYZ).”
- “Can you tell me why you’re screaming?” XYZ is correct. “Don’t whine.”
- “Your teacher is always right,” says the narrator. Pay attention to him/her. Never say no, otherwise he/she will become irritated.”
- “Follow my instructions. There are no comments.
The parent may accidentally tell the child to obey and listen to adults without employing their own sense of safety in the above terms. Parents, on the other hand, should teach their children that they have the authority to decide whether or not they are comfortable with particular behaviours or persons, and that they should inform their parents honestly about it.
Conclusion
Though we cannot always be with our children, it is critical to teach them life skills that will leave us with no regrets as parents. Be available to your children. Believe in their stories and trust them. Maybe they’re trying to tell you something significant.
Click the social sharing buttons to share this article. Your recommendations for future topics and feedback would be greatly welcomed.
About the Author
